


Have I loved

by hisloss



Series: Husband Mine [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Consensual Sex, Happy Ending, M/M, Mail Order Brides, Married Sex, Misunderstandings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisloss/pseuds/hisloss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku has been in love with his best friend Sora’s brother Roxas for years. After he moves to the mainland and successfully starts his own business, he sends a telegram back home to the island, asking Roxas’s father for his son’s hand in marriage.<br/>Unfortunately, Roxas’s father completely misunderstands and sends the wrong son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Waiting for a Train

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aurons_fan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurons_fan/gifts).



I.  
The train was due to arrive at any minute. Riku paced the platform nervously. He was relatively new to town, but he’d already run into some customers and a neighbor. He’d told no one that he was expecting his future husband. It was hard enough containing his own excitement. For the past two weeks he’d been cleaning the house and arranging the guest bedroom. Soon, Roxas would be there. In town. In his house. They would be married just before Christmas.

The flowers in his hands had already started to wilt. Yellow flowers. He hoped that they would remind Roxas of the island and cheer him up. After all, it would probably be a shock to be away from home for the first time.

The whistle at the end of the platform sang, announcing the approaching train. Riku saw it immediately, coming around the hills.

Roxas was on that train.

He composed himself and filed in among the other groups of people waiting. The train came to a stop with a shudder and hiss of steam. The doors opened, and passengers began to flood out, porters opening up the luggage compartments and setting bags in the designated area. Riku felt his heart speeding up as he watched people around him being united with their loved ones.

Roxas was nowhere to be seen.

“Riku!”

He turned around sharply, surprised to see Sora there. His lungs tightened. “Sora.” His best friend from childhood. Roxas’s brother. Sora smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah.”

“I was happy when father got your telegram asking for me,” he continued.

Riku mentally brought up the brief telegram he’d composed to Roxas’s father. His blood ran cold. He had never explicitly stated that it was Roxas he wanted. He’d written “your son.” This was a misunderstanding.

“Are those for me?” Sora asked.

“Oh. Um. Yes,” Riku held the bouquet out to him. No use in it going to waste.

“They’re beautiful.” Sora hugged them to his chest. “Yellow reminds me of the beach back home. Thank you, Riku.”

Numbly, Riku followed him to the baggage claim and took Sora’s suitcases in hand. A misunderstanding.

He had to fix it, tell Sora that it was Roxas –

No. Not yet. It had been a long journey by boat and then train. Sora was a kind, resilient person. But it would be rude to say anything. Riku would take him home first, feed him and let him rest. This could be worked out in the morning. He loaded the suitcases into the back of the wagon and watched as Sora pulled himself up into the seat. On the ride he had a lot to say about his journey, and Riku listened politely. They had been good friends as children, and despite the circumstance, it made Riku feel less lonely to be near him.

* * *

 

Sora had grown, of course. The last time they had talked had been before Riku left the island to start his apprenticeship. Five years ago. Some of the innocence had left Sora’s face. His cheekbones were high and strong. He had grown into his long, gangly arms and pointy elbows. He was still shorter than Riku, but much taller. Riku reasoned that to Sora, he must have appeared different, too. Sora might have only recognized him on the platform from his hair, which was a bit longer but still the unusually pale and iridescent color.

“Everyone back home is so proud of you,” Sora said at last. “When the mayor received the desk you designed for his office, he designated a whole week where anyone could come in during his off hours to sit at it.”

Riku ducked his head, blushing. The desk had taken weeks to design and actually construct. He lost a lot of sleep in the days it was set to travel back to the island. He almost accompanied it himself, but he’d been too busy with other orders. What he regretted most was not being able to see Roxas again. He wondered if during that week he had gone to sit at the desk, if he’d thought about Riku at all.

“How is your family?” he asked.

“Everyone is fine. Squall was injured last month on the boat, but he’s almost fully recovered. My mom and Kairi made Thalssa shell ornaments for the end of summer festival.”

“And Roxas?”

“Roxas is fine,” he said simply.

Riku had decorated the guest room in soft blues. Sora put the flowers into a vase on the dresser.

“I’m going to start dinner.”

“I can help.”

“You’re my guest,” Riku insisted, with a forced smile.

* * *

He had asked the wife of one of his neighbors for the complicated chicken recipe. Lulu was quiet, intimidating to those who didn’t know her. But she didn’t ask Riku who he was expecting for dinner, so he was grateful. He paired it with vegetables from his small garden and rice. For a moment, as they sat down and said grace, he was so excited for the food to be appreciated that he forgot who it had originally been prepared for.

“You have a nice house,” Sora said.

“I miss my old home,” Riku confided. “The sound of the waves at night. The smell of coconut milk.” He smiled. “The little island where we used to play.”

Sora said nothing, just gingerly picked at his food. Riku tried to fill the silence with details about his shop and the people he worked with, some of whom were neighbors. They would love to meet Sora. Granted, no one knew Riku was expecting company, but it would be a nice surprise.

“Riku,” he said, tersely ending the conversation. He pushed his plate a little ways away.

“Is something wrong? You’re not really eating.”

“I know you were expecting Roxas.”

Riku sat up abruptly. “Sora.”

“I was your best friend,” Sora continued. “I remember how you watched him. How kind you were. You always tried to include him in our games, made an effort to get him to talk.” The tablecloth wrinkled, and Riku recognized the other’s old habit of wringing the hem in his lap. “I should have done something about it. You repress your feelings. Roxas is oblivious. It was selfish of me not to say anything. Now we’re in this mess. My family thinks you’re going to marry me.” He laughed, but Riku could tell that he was hurting. “I was selfish,” he repeated.

“It’s not your fault,” Riku assured him.

“I love you, Riku,” Sora said.

He was telling the truth. He had that determined look in his eyes that Riku recognized from childhood, whenever they fought and he won. Sora took defeat easily when he felt he deserved it. For almost a full minute Sora stared at him, blue eyes bright.

“You love me.” He repeated.

“I’m in love with you,” Sora continued. “I have been since we were children. I should have told you, but I knew how you felt about my brother. So I was a coward and kept you from each other.”

“Kept us… did Roxas love me?” His hands on the table curled into fists.

“No,” Sora replied. “When your telegram arrived, my father was confused, but it was Roxas who convinced him that you meant me. Because we had been friends. After both of my parents approved, I talked to him. I implied that you really meant him. He didn’t understand at all. He admitted that he never saw you that way.”

Riku relaxed. His chest felt hollow. “There’s no way of knowing if he would have, had I confessed.”

“Still, I regret not telling you my feelings earlier. Before you left for your apprenticeship, I wanted to. But I just said goodbye.” Riku remembered that day. How sad Sora had seemed, how he barely spoke and clutched him a little too tight as they hugged. Sora stood, pushed the chair back in carefully.

“I’ll go into town tomorrow to buy my return train ticket.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I’ll have to line up the boat and the train, so I’ll have to impose on your hospitality for a few days. I… I just wanted to confront you.” His hand resting on the back of the chair trembled. “There’s something else. Roxas is courting someone. I imagine our parents found out about it tonight, but I’ve known for almost two months.”

Riku stared down at his plate.

“I’m sorry,” Sora whispered.

* * *

 

The next day, Sora barely showed himself. He borrowed a horse and disappeared, not returning until dinner. They ate in silence.

Riku had been unable to sleep, plagued by the first symptoms of heartbreak. Before the sun rose, he forgave Sora for his selfishness, but he’d been unable to think about his friend’s feelings. He felt cold and bitter. Would it have been better to write specifically asking for Roxas, only to be rejected immediately? At least this way Roxas would never know of his pathetic unrequited love. He decided to be grateful to Sora for being honest.

“Thank you,” he said as Sora left the dinner table. “You’re still my best friend. No one else would have been able to tell me the things you told me last night. You’re right. I repressed my feelings. I thought Roxas was fragile. I wanted to wait. It was stupid.”

“Love is stupid,” Sora replied. There was relief in his voice, and before he went to bed he put a hand on Riku’s shoulder.

* * *

 

They were halfway to town when Riku made the decision. He pulled a little harder on the reigns than he intended, and Sora grabbed his arm to keep from falling out of the cart.

“What?”

“You should stay,” he said.

Sora frowned at him. “You want me to stay.”

“It would be rude of me to send you right back home. Your father would have a very low opinion of me,” Riku argued. “And you are my best friend. I’ve missed you.” The horses shifted uneasily. “We could write and tell your family that the wedding is suspended for now, and when you do get back, you can tell them that we decided that it didn’t work out.”

“Getting married would ruin our friendship,” Sora added.

“Yes. That.”

Sora took the reins from him. The horses continued along. A few minutes later, he spoke. “I’m going to pretend that I’m not hurt by this plan. I missed you, too, and I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I stayed long enough to get you through your heartbreak.”

“But?”

“We’re still going into town. Your pantry is practically bare and I haven’t been eating well because I thought you hated me for…” he shrugged. “You know. So. I’m cooking dinner tonight.”

 


	2. We Can Still be Friends

II.

Sora cooked fish. He also bought other things in town that he said that Riku needed.

 

"We'll pretend that I'm just visiting you," he said cheerfully, setting a huge serving in front of him. Riku wisely ate the entire thing.

 

Sora drafted the letter after dinner and let Riku read it.

 

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_The mainland is beautiful. I missed the coast as soon as it was out of sight but the mountains were lovely and the town Riku lives in is very nice. Riku’s house sits on a small orchard and he has his workshop in town._

_I am writing on behalf of the two of us to tell you that we are suspending the wedding. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, so we want the chance to be friends again before we start planning for our future._

_Sora_

 

“Brief, but to the point,” Riku agreed, and they sealed it.

 

* * *

 

After Riku left for work, Sora cleaned up the breakfast dishes and went into the guest room. It ached, knowing that the room hadn’t been specifically prepared for him. His one suitcase sat on top of a heavy trunk not meant for everyday travel. He was truthfully a little hurt when Riku didn’t immediately recognize it, but he must have made so many other ones just like it since.

 

He opened it carefully. At first it had been a toy chest, and for a brief period it housed a family of crickets. Then it had been used to store old clothes. Finally - embarrassingly - it had become a hope chest. A beautiful set of china was nestled at the bottom, cushioned by hand embroidered sheets, tablecloths, tea towels, and handkerchiefs. Two quilts completed the set, one thin for warmer months, and one stuffed with down and lined with soft flannel for the cold months. Both quilts were done in bright patterns. Kairi had helped their mother make it, and possibly between Roxas and herself a few scraps of Riku’s childhood clothes had been used.

 

Tears ran down Sora’s face. Everyone in his family suspected from the time that they were children. They had been practically inseparable when they were very young. At six and seven years old they spent the entire day together on the play island near their beach, only coming home after dark. Sometimes Riku slept over, sometimes Sora slept over. Very often they slept in the same bed.

 

When Riku turned ten, they distanced a little. Riku was starting to show interest in carpentry and his parents took him to the mainland whenever they could for youth workshops.

 

The trunk had been a gift to Sora on his twelfth birthday. By then, Riku had taken notice of Roxas.

 

Sora took the thicker quilt, knotted with scraps of his and Riku’s Christmas pajamas, and cried himself to sleep.

 

When he awoke from the nap and felt refreshed. He washed his face and went out to the small barn on the property. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that Riku fell in love with his brother.

 

* * *

 

When Riku returned from work, Sora was chopping wood. Ever since they had been children, Sora had an unnatural, almost inhuman strength. Riku only ever beat him when they sparred because he was faster. Sora split the logs effortlessly, not acknowledging Riku until he had finished.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Riku said.

 

Sora shrugged, his back muscles rolling. “You were low.” He was trying to sound friendly, but Riku could tell what he was thinking, and it was true. Part of his reason for wanting to get married - a very small part - was because he needed help around the house. The orchard was small and he only had one cow, two horses, and a herd of chickens, but he worked almost full time at his workshop in town with only Sundays off. He’d considered hiring help, but it was lonely. His heart was withered and dry. So he’d sent for Roxas, hoping against hope that the other could want to make a life with him, could come to love him.

 

Instead he had heartbreak and guilt. Sooner or latter he would have to address Sora’s feelings and formally reject them. But for now, he wanted their friendship to heal.

 

“I’ll cook dinner tonight.”

 

“I’ve already started it,” Sora countered.

 

Again, a huge portion of food was put on his plate, and again Riku ate it all without a word. Sora pretended to be pleased, but Riku sensed something else was wrong.

 

“Did you mail the letter?” he asked as they washed the dishes together.

 

“It was mailed,” Riku promised.

“Good,” Sora said curtly. Then, “I was hoping to see your workshop soon.”

 

“Of course. I told the others that my friend was visiting and they want to meet you.”

 

Sora flinched at the word friend, but went right on scrubbing the pan in his hand. “Didn’t you mention that someone you worked with was a neighbor?”

 

“Wakka. He lives over the hill with his wife. No kids, but plenty of sheep. His wife weaves.”

 

He described the others he worked with, and the few other people he’d become close to since setting up his workshop. They were nearly always busy because their small town was close to a bigger city. A lot of Riku’s pieces travelled by train to showrooms there.

 

“In the future, if things keep going as well as they are, I might open a showroom of my own.”

 

“I’m sure you could,” Sora assured him with genuine pride and warmth in his voice. They went out and sat on the porch on the bench Riku had made and talked about their families back home. Sora’s family operated the biggest fishing company on the islands, and Riku’s worked in ship construction as well as naval trade. When he was old enough, Sora worked on the ships with his father and brothers, his impressive strength detrimental to the crew. He seemed to love it. Yet, he left all of that behind.

 

“Do you miss the sea?”

 

“So much,” Sora confessed. “But I’m not anchored to it. I think… I think that after Christmas I might just… keep going east. Discover new worlds.”

 

“You’re not going back home?”

 

He shrugged. “Maybe just to say goodbye again. I don’t know how my parents will react to the letter, and if they’re disappointed, I’d rather not be around.”

 

They were quiet for a long time. It was starting to get cold already. Autumn was just over the horizon, and then winter. Riku had until then to make sure they would part amicably. “So, east?” He imagined five years from now. He could have a showroom of his own in the city. Maybe Sora would come visit him again. He’d be travelled. He might have found someone else to love. Everything would be behind them. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling sad because it could happen or because it might take them a long time to get there.

 

“Yeah. I might find what I’m good at. I loved working with my dad and my brothers, but I only did it because it was the family business. Maybe I’m meant to be doing something entirely different.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Sora made breakfast. Riku felt strange, having all his meals cooked for him, but it seemed to make Sora happy - at least, he made sure he was always up earlier than Riku to make it. For dinner, there was another huge meal. Every time Sora set the plate down, he looked at Riku expectantly, as though waiting for something. Riku always made sure to thank him, but that must not have been what Sora wanted, because he didn’t relent.

 

Finally, the night before they’d agreed that Sora could visit the workshop, Riku stared down at his plate. He had no idea how Sora was managing to prepare so much food, and it was different every night.

 

“I’m not actually that hungry, Sor,” he apologized.

 

“But I spent all afternoon cooking this,” Sora argued.

 

“And I appreciate it,” Riku said, “It’s just - “

 

“What?”

 

Riku reflected internally on the best way to say what he meant without hurting Sora’s feelings. “It’s too much,” he finally said.

 

“What’s too much?”

 

“You don’t have to cook every meal for me, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep eating this much.”

 

Sora blinked. “Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Okay.” Sora grinned and took the plate back. “I’ll serve you a bit less.”

 

“Were you doing it on purpose?” Riku finally asked.

 

“I told you that you repress your feelings,” Sora explained. “Since I agreed to stay for a while you’ve been pretty careful about what you say to me. You haven’t even been able to say ‘no, thank you’ when I put food down in front of you for fear of hurting my feelings. I’m not… I’m heartbroken, too, okay?” he said, frustrated. “But we have to talk.”

 

“I’m not in love with you,” Riku said after a moment of silence.

 

“I know.”

 

“I do love you, though. You’re my best friend.”

 

“I love you that way, too.”

 

* * *

 

Riku’s workshop was huge. It had a small showroom in front, but Riku mostly worked in the back. His latest project was a dining table and set of chairs, a special order from the city. It was a big order - the table was meant to seat 8 people - so Riku had other people working on the chairs while he focused on the table.

 

“This is Hayner and Seifer,” he introduced Sora. “They mainly work on joints and construction.”

 

“Cool to meet you,” Hayner wiped the wood dust from his hands and greeted Sora properly. Seifer just scowled. “Sorry about my fiancé’s manners,” he added. The other man rolled his eyes and stepped away from his project long enough to shake Sora’s hand, earning him an affectionate shove from Hayner.

 

“Wakka runs the front, and he’ll be here later,” Riku explained. The front was set up very nicely - it even had a window display featuring various colorful toy chests. “Naminé does the painting, but she works out of her own studio.” The storefront also features rocking chairs, a beautiful writing desk, and a number of head and foot boards for different sized beds.

 

Until Wakka showed up, Riku greeted customers in the shop, taking orders and making sales. Sora was introduced to everyone, and by the end of the day was very well liked by everyone, especially since he made a trip midday and brought lunch back to Riku and the other workers.

 

“You should marry him,” Hayner quipped as they enjoyed the homemade lunch. “A staff lunch every now and then from the boss’s husband makes the workers happy.” Sora just smiled and said nothing, even though Riku had to duck into his office to avoid embarrassment. None of them knew why Sora was really there.

 

* * *

 

For the next week, Sora visited the shop when he was done with work around the house or needed a break, always bringing some sort of snack for Riku and the staff, usually baked goods. They took turns making breakfast and dinner, and on days off they went for long walks. Sometimes they found themselves at Wakka’s house or at another neighbor’s. Everyone got to know Sora. Occasionally someone would suggest a single daughter or son or cousin. Sora laughed and joked along, and it was hard for Riku to tell how he really felt about it.

  
A month had passed, and he still talked about places out east he wanted to visit. Sometimes, though, he included Riku in his musings, mentioning events both of them could enjoy together. Riku laughed and joked along. It was nice to talk about, but he had a future with his business and didn’t know where it would lead him. At least they were becoming friends again. He still couldn’t bring himself to share with Sora how heartbroken he was over Roxas, but he figured he was entitled to his own privacy.


	3. STOP

The letter was burning a hole in Riku’s pocket. Every time he passed the post office he meant to send it, but it didn’t feel right.

 

Part of the problem was that he _did_ love Sora. Sora was the first person outside of his family that he recognized love for, back when they were children. But he didn’t love Sora the way he loved Roxas. At least, he thought he didn’t.Their friendship had rekindled.

 

That was what was most important.

 

And yet, there were times that Riku couldn’t even deny to himself how attractive his childhood friend had become. Sora did what he could around the farm to keep from being bored, the days that Riku went into town to work. When he returned, he often caught him laboring away. His eyes shone and the muscles in his back made Riku feel a bit light headed. Sometimes, before he turned out the light to go to bed, Riku examined himself in his bedroom, wondering if Sora felt similarly when he looked at him. Riku didn’t think he was bad to look at. His arms were a little more defined than Sora’s, and he had a narrow waist, and - he’d been told many times - a handsome jawline.

 

And after he'd turned out the light, it was hard not to linger on what it would be like if he could return Sora’s feelings. Since he’d never been able to speak of love to Roxas, it felt awkward, evasive, and even disrespectful to think of the other’s body the few times he couldn’t help it. But Sora. With Sora, it was actually possible. Riku’s hand softly groped the heated flesh between his legs. Sora might have even thought of Riku while touching himself. It didn’t feel as wrong. He could even replay Sora’s voice in his head, saying, “I love you, Riku.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning he could barely look Sora in the eye without blushing.

 

“You look feverish,” Sora commented. “Maybe you should stay home. I’ll run you a bath.”

 

Riku banished the image of the two of them curled together in the tub, Sora’s legs lifted high, his beautiful back muscles tensing and relaxing under Riku’s hands.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

The letter felt heavier in his pocket than it ever had. When Sora didn’t stop by for lunch, he ran it through the chipping machine.

* * *

 

The next week was very busy. Riku finally finished and approved the 8 person dining set and had it sent into the city. Two other orders for dining sets had come up around the same time, but for smaller sets, and those were nearly finished, too. One of them was going to Wakka as a gift for his wife.

 

“We’re going to have a nice Thanksgiving dinner. Lulu’s friend Yuna and her husband are coming. We hoped that you and Sora could join us.”

 

Lulu was going to cook the turkey herself, but Sora offered to bake a few things.

 

“Next week is December already,” he said as he kneaded the dough for biscuits. Sora had been with him for almost three months.

 

“Will you stay until Christmas?”

 

“I think it’s better that I leave now. My parents haven’t heard from us since I first wrote, and if I don’t say anything now, they’ll wonder when we’re coming back to start planning for the wedding.” He laughed, more to himself than out of genuine mirth.

 

Riku flinched. There was no way to tell Sora that the letter had never been sent. He was actually surprised that they hadn’t had any correspondence from Sora’s family. More importantly, he could sense that Sora was still heartbroken, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he could give him hope.

 

They wrapped the biscuits in a clean cloth and packed them into a large basket. Sora had also made pies from preserved apples cooked with cinnamon and sugar. Thanksgiving dinner was very nice. Yuna and her Husband were from the city and they praised Riku for his craftsmanship, admitting to coveting a bedframe he’d designed that they’d seen in a showroom window. Sora smiled warmly at him the whole time.

 

* * *

 

When the horses had been put away, Riku suggested they walk around the barn. Initially, Sora complained.

 

“ _I’m so full of food_ ,” he whined.

 

“Which is _exactly_ why we should.”

They walked slowly, talking about the repairs Sora had made to the barn and how the animals loved him. Riku had to bring chicken in from town because Sora couldn’t bear to kill any. When they reached the small apple orchard, Sora picked up a fallen branch and poked at Riku.

 

“Come on, like when we were kids,” he goaded.

 

Riku rolled his eyes but complied, taking up another branch and jabbing with it. Sora laughed, dancing out of the way. They parried and swiped at one another, taking their fight up the hill that overlooked the farm. Riku wasn’t as fast on a full stomach, but he managed to weave his way around well enough until Sora landed a heavy blow to the back of his knees. With a victory cry, Sora fell on top of him. They wrestled briefly, and then Sora pushed him down hard. Pinned, Riku felt his whole body relax. He looked up at Sora, their faces inches apart. He wanted to tell him that he’d won, but Sora knew that. If he was defeated, he took it gracefully, but if he won, he didn’t spoil it.

 

The sky broke open when their lips met, but Riku paid it no mind. Instead he took Sora - caught off guard from the sudden downpour - and reversed their positions, pressing their bodies together. Sora gave a startled sound, but melted against him, tilting his chin up as Riku opened his mouth, surrendering his tongue. Sora welcomed it into his mouth immediately, sucking passionately. Their breaths came heavier and heavier. Riku’s hands fumbled with the wet fabric between them.

 

“R-riku, wait,” Sora whispered into their kiss The fifth. Riku had been keeping count.

 

“Gods, Sora. I’m so… I’m so sorry,” he carefully pulled himself away, but Sora was already running down the hill.

 

“The shed!” he cried behind him, and Riku understood, bolting after him.

* * *

 

Riku kept imported, expensive materials in his shed by the barn. Cedar wood. Laurel. Mahogany. The obeche, which was worth more than the others. It had been so stupid to keep it in the shed. Sora ran into the barn and came back with yards of canvas tarp, treated to be weather proof. In the past, Riku had used it to cover parts of the barn that were still unfinished, but since Sora had made all the major repairs, they could be spared.

 

For the next hour they worked frantically, Riku directing which materials had the highest priority. Thankfully, less than 10% of it had been ruined.

 

* * *

 

In the morning, Riku took inventory of it, glad that he’d given himself and everyone at the shop the next few days off for the holiday. When he finished, he made a list of what was needed to repair the shed itself and headed back into the house. Sora met him on the porch, a wrinkled yellow paper in his hand. He held it out wordlessly.

 

HELLO SON AND FUTURE SON IN LAW. STOP. PLEASE RETURN TO THE ISLAND BY THE FIRST SUNDAY OF THE MONTH. STOP. THERE IS MUCH TO PLAN FOR THE WEDDING. STOP. WE AND RIKUS PARENTS ARE EXCITED TO UNITE OUR FAMILIES. STOP. WE WILL SEND MONEY FOR TRAIN AND BOAT FARE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. STOP.

 

 


	4. Marry Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter. Toward the end, though, I decided to write the wedding/ wedding night as a whole separate chapter.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sora asked in a hollow whisper.

 

Riku tried to explain that he hadn’t deliberately kept the letter. He tried to explain the sick feeling he had every day when he approached the post office, how much better he felt when he walked away, told himself that he’d delay it another week. Another week wouldn’t hurt.

 

“It hurt me,” Sora reminded him. “I’m the one that has to go back home now and tell my family that the wedding is cancelled. Indefinitely.”

 

He spent most of the day in his room. Riku could hear him pacing, the sound of clothes being folded and thrown. Sometime after nightfall, he stood outside the door and announced for him to hear: “I’m coming with you.”

 

He could feel Sora tense from his side of the door. A moment passed, then, “Don’t be stupid.”

 

“This is all my fault,” Riku continued. “It would be rude of me not to go to your family and explain everything.”

 

“Roxas will hate you.”

 

Riku was surprised how little the threat stung. “I won’t come away from this unscathed, but I’m going to take responsibility.”

 

Sora was silent for so long Riku didn’t know if he’d won the argument or not. Finally, the door opened a crack. Sora’s face stared out at him, a little pale. Riku could tell that he’d been crying. “Fine,” he said shortly.

* * *

 

The money was wired from Sora’s family two days later as promised, through a bank on the mainland that did business with the shipping company. Riku spent the days up until their departure in frantic movement, briefing Hayner and Seifer on the schedules for their current projects. No one asked why he was leaving, which was good. Sora barely spoke to him since the night they agreed that they would make the trip together, and it had given him time to think.

 

He was in love with Sora.

 

He still wasn’t sure what he would say to his father and family. What he would say to Sora. HE thought back to the night of the storm, to their kisses. Sora still loved him. He was sure. Even if he was angry about the letter, it wasn’t enough to take that away.

 

They left early in the morning. The distance between them on the wagon seat seemed longer than it had been that first day, when Riku awkwardly tried to think of a way to send Sora back home.

 

The train left late, and Riku could tell that the change in schedule was making Sora irritable.

 

“We won’t miss the boat,” Riku assured him. Sora seemed placated, but said nothing. He curled up in his seat, back to Riku, and fell asleep.

* * *

 

 

 

Sora’s mood didn’t improve as the trip wore on. They were due back on the island around midday the next day. It had been a last minute booking, so they were only able to procure a cabin with one bed. Sora glared at him and inched as far away as he could while still staying on. In the morning he was gone. Riku found him on the deck, clutching a mug of coffee. The sun was barely over the horizon and it was cold. Neither of them had slept well. Riku was sure that at some point in the night Sora had kicked him, and that it hadn’t been on accident. It was less than an ideal setting for a love confession, so Riku kept his mouth shut.

* * *

 

 

 

The first thing Sora saw when he could see land on the horizon was the play island where he and Riku used to play. It was much smaller than he remembered, but there it was. Then, the rest of the island came into view. All five of his father’s ships were docked. At that moment, Sora would have given anything to be aboard one of them with his brothers, pulling in the nets. Far away from Riku.

 

It was so unfair.

 

Getting Riku to fall in love with him had not been his plan, but if it had, he needed more time. Their kisses in the rain proved that there could be something, but now. Riku was insisting on responsibility. He just wanted to put all of this behind him.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said. He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing again for not confronting Riku about his feelings for Roxas when he could have, or for his response to Riku’s telegram, asking his dad for his son’s hand in marriage.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Riku said gently.

 

His dad’s first mate was waiting with a horse and cart at the dock. He greeted them both enthusiastically and handed the reins over after helping them load their thing, jokingly reminding them that he expected to be invited to the wedding. Sora felt his stomach drop. Of course everyone would know. He’d have to leave the island to escape the shame and embarrassment.

Riku’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Would you mind taking our things to Sora’s house? There’s something I need to do first.”

 

Confused, he followed Riku back down the dock, watched as the other rented a small boat and got in without complaint. He wasn’t surprised when they reached the play island.

 

“What are we doing here?” he asked finally.

 

“Like I said, there’s something I needed to do first.”

 

He shucked his coat and shoes. Sora did the same, grateful that even in December they lived in a relatively mild part of the country. When they got to the place by the waterfall, he made a face. “Riku. We haven’t been here in years. There might be something living in there. The entrance might be blocked.” Riku reached out and took his hand.

 

“Whenever one of my workers came back to visit their families, or friends of neighbors, I’ve asked them the favor of checking in on it. Last person to be here was Tidus. Yuna’s husband. You met him at Thanksgiving. Wakka comes pretty often, too.”

 

They ducked down and pushed some plant fronds aside. Sora was surprised to see that the opening had even been made a little bigger. After Riku left for his apprenticeship, he’d rarely come back, and he’d never tried coming to the secret place.

 

When they exited the tunnel, the space was dim. The openings in the ceiling were covered now. From behind a rock, Riku pulled out a lantern and a wooden box with a lid. He lit the lamp, and suddenly the area was flooded with light. On every stone surface, his and Sora’s childhood etchings, preserved in the stone and some emphasized with lines of moss, surrounded them. Sora lost himself for a few minutes, running his hands over the pictures. He only stopped when he came to the one he had made when he was twelve or so. His face, crudely executed because of the tools and the harsh surface of the rock canvas, a long arm reaching out to offer a paopu fruit to Riku’s disembodied head.

 

He turned around to see Riku staring at it too and felt his face grow hot.

 

“Why are we here?” he asked.

 

Riku spared one last glance at the drawing and dropped to one knee, very slowly. “Sora, I love you.”

 

Sora staggered back, leaning against the stone wall.

 

“Stop.”

 

“I’m going to formally ask your father for your hand when I see him. I’ll tell him the truth first if you want me to, but before I see him I wanted to propose to you properly.”

 

“Are you doing this because you feel bad for breaking my heart?” Sora demanded in a whisper. “Do you think marrying me will make up for everything?”

 

“You’re not listening to me.”

 

“I am, but I don’t understand.”

 

“You’re my best friend. I’ve always loved you as such. But since we’ve been together again, I… I won’t be able to live a full life without you. Since you came and told me your feelings, I’ve been questioning myself. Why did I want to get married? Aside from the motivations of my heart, I felt like what I had was incomplete. You were missing. You. No one will be able to be for me what you are.”

 

“Riku…”

 

“I love you. Please, be one half of my life.”

 

Sora hesitated for a moment before he understood that not only was Riku kneeling out of a sense of tradition. On several occasions when they were little, playing with swords, Riku would get into this stance, conceding defeat. He’d say things like “Victory to you, Sir Sora!” even if he hated losing. From him Sora learned to be a graceful loser and winner. Most days it was just enough to be able to add another point to the unwritten but carefully kept score between them. This time, though, what Sora had won was much bigger.

 

“Yes,” he breathed.

 

Riku stood up fully and pulled Sora into his arms. Sora could feel relief radiating off of him. For a long time they just held each other.

 

“Come with me. There’s one more thing we need to do before we go to your family’s house.” Riku murmured.

 

They walked across the beach to the small shack that led up the the bridge and crossed it carefully.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Sora asked as Riku rolled up his sleeves and started to climb the tree at the edge of the island. “They don’t actually taste all that great.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I ate one once,” Sora confessed. “Well, a bite. I was curious.”

 

Riku tossed one of the fruits down to him. “I’m going to tell you a secret, my love,” he said. “It tasted bad because you didn’t share it with me.”

 

Sora blushed at the endearment, picking the leaves away. “You didn’t love me then.”

 

Riku grinned. “Before you took a bite, did you cut it in any way?”

 

Sora frowned, puzzled. “No.”

 

“Look here.” Riku indicated the veins in the fruit, four short and one long. “I figured out the secret. This,” the longest vein, running down the middle, “see? It divides the fruit in half. Exactly in half. It’s meant to be shared between two people, so you have to cut it here. I think that when you do, it releases something inside and makes the fruit taste different. If you eat it by yourself it tastes bitter. If you cut it more than once something else is released. Different taste.”

 

“So it’s not magic.” Sora tried not to sound disappointed.

 

“That you would choose someone to share it with, just the two of you, is magic,” Riku explained, deftly ripping it in half with his fingers. “Even the shape. It looks like this because it’s meant to be special. It’s meant to be shared. Love is meant to be shared.”

 

They eat took a bite. It was much sweeter than Sora remembered. It also had a lightness to it, and yet made him feel whole. It made him feel a little nostalgic. When they had finished, they savored the lingering taste from each other’s mouths. Sora raked his fingers through Riku’s hair, dizzy on the soft breaths and moans they made between kisses. Riku pulled away, smiling. “We won’t have anything for our wedding night if we continue.” Still, they didn’t leave. The sand under the paopu tree was soft. Sora sank into it, pulling Riku down on top of him. They rolled around, wrestling without the need to be aggressive, Riku’s hands brushing over Sora’s skin where his shirt shifted up. They tried to compose vows, and when Riku mentioned honesty, Sora made up his mind. “We don’t have to tell my family everything.”

 

“You don’t feel bad keeping the whole truth from them?”

 

“It doesn’t have anything to do with them, and… it worked out for the best, didn’t it?”

 

It was well past midday. Sora ventured one last kiss. Already their lips knew and worshipped the pressure of the other.

 

“Yes,” Riku agreed.


	5. I Do

Six months ago, Riku would have felt very differently about Roxas being in his bedroom at night. He’d been half asleep when he’d heard it – the telltale scratch of the tree branch on his windowsill, heavy under the weight of whoever had climbed up. At first he thought it was Sora. It had always been Sora when they were younger. He’d pushed open the window quietly, laughing softly.

“Sora, you dumbass, we’re not supposed to see each other until tomorrow, it’s bad luck.”

“It’s Roxas,” Roxas said, pulling back the hood of his short cape. Riku helped him in, startled.

“Is everything okay? Is Sora - ?”

“Relax, he doesn’t even know that I’m here.”

Riku lit the lamp on his desk and cleared some things from one of the plush seats in front of the bookcase, gesturing for Roxas to sit. Grateful that he had slept fully clothed, he pulled the other chair closer.

“Should I go get some tea or something?” he offered.

Roxas nodded, not meeting his eyes. “Yeah. Please. We’ve got some things to talk about.”

Riku crept downstairs and fretted over the kettle. Had Sora told Roxas the truth? He couldn’t think of any reason Roxas would be there, in the dead of night, before his and Sora’s wedding day. He pulled the kettle away before it started whistling and carried the cups back up to his room. Roxas took his carefully with a quiet acknowledgement of thanks.

“So?” Riku prompted.

“So…” Roxas shifted, risked a sip of the still hot beverage. “I know Squall already talked to you about honoring our brother… the usual speech. But.” He took a deep breath and looked up. “I wanted to make sure you heard it from me, too. I’m his twin. If you fail him as a husband in any way, I will take him away from you. He’ll listen to me if I tell him to leave you.”

Riku’s blood ran cold. It was true. He nodded. “You have my word.”

“Good.” They sat silently for a long moment, drinking their tea. It felt like Roxas had more to say, though, so Riku tried to be as relaxed as possible, to be open. “That being said,” Roxas continued, as though there hadn’t been a pause in their conversation at all, “if Sora ever gives you trouble, if he’s being stubborn, you can call me for help.”

“Thanks.” He hesitated a beat. “Brother.” When he said it, he felt the tension leave his body. Suddenly, he felt peaceful.

“Are you nervous?” Roxas asked.

“No, actually. I was just thinking how peaceful I feel. I’m ready to hold Sora’s hands in mine and say ‘I do’.”

Roxas set the tea cup down on the desk. He still seemed unsettled, So Riku ventured to ask. “Is there something else you wanted to talk about?”

Roxas actually blushed. He must have realized that he was doing it, because he turned away. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“We’re brothers now, Roxas.”

“How… how did you know that you were in love with Sora?” he finally asked, his voice so low Riku had to strain his ears. He remembered, then, that Sora mentioned Roxas was courting someone. He thought carefully about how to answer.

“Sora’s always been right here,” he said, putting his hand over his heart. “I guess I’ve always loved him. So that made it easier, knowing that I was _in_ love. It made more sense when he came to live with me. After a few weeks… it’s almost scary to think of what I’d do without him.”

Roxas turned to face him.

“I don’t mean that I couldn’t live without him. I just… it would be different. Unfulfilling.”

“So when you realized that, you know it was real love?”

“Yes. But Roxas, it’s different for everyone. That feeling.”

“Maybe, but I feel the exact same way.”

“About the man you’re courting?”

Roxas blushed again. “His name is Axel.”

“Are you bringing him to the wedding? I want to meet him.”

* * *

 

Sora’s family pulled off the wedding beautifully. It was Christmas Eve, and the decorations were in bright red and white. The cake had a subtle undertone of gingerbread. The actual arch under which they were wed was made up of thick white ribbon woven with poinsettias, imported from the mainland.

In his vows, Sora promised to make his home wherever Riku went, support him, and be his best friend until the end of his days. Riku fought tears, squeezing his husband’s hands as they kissed. “ _I love you, I love you_ ,” he whispered between their lips.

Most of the island showed up for the party, bringing food with them. Several people shared storied about Riku and Sora as children, remarking how obvious it had been from that age that they would one day be wed.

The party continued late into the night. Finally, after meeting Roxas’s intended, Riku pulled Sora away.

“It’s a surprise,” he explained.

“Shouldn’t we say goodbye?”

“It’s expected.”

They ran down to the dock together and Riku untied a small rowboat. “Are we going to the island?” Sora asked, puzzled.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on it. A few people that I work with – namely Wakka – stop by pretty often when they visit their families. Last week I sent a telegram to a friend here so that it would be ready in time.” He docked the boat on the small pier and helped him out. They walked across the beach, shoes in hand, toward the small shack that they used as whatever their imaginations called for. Inside, Riku had arranged for a bed to be delivered, as well as a portable fire pit. Riku lit it, along with the thick white candles leading up the stairs.

“I remember when we were little and we tried spending the night here. I was always too scared,” Sora laughed nervously.

“It was my fault. I told you there were monsters in the cave.” He kneeled at the side of the bed. “But as I did then, I promise to protect you from them, husband mine.”

Sora scoffed. “I’m stronger than you now.” Despite the confidence in his voice, he shifted uneasily, blushing hard. “What are you doing down there?”

Riku smirked. “Lay back and relax. I’ll show you.”

Understanding, Sora pulled a pillow from the head of the bed, worrying it between his hands. “Can I pull your hair a little?”

“All you like, I’m not sensitive.”

Not taking their eyes off each other, they slowly shed their clothes. Sora licked his lips, raking his eyes down Riku’s abdomen. “Don’t touch yourself while you do it,” he pleaded. “I want to be the one to give you release.”

Riku took his husband’s length into his mouth, moaning with pleasure at the way Sora’s fingers massaged his scalp and pulled gently at his hair, shallowly thrusting and writhing. “There’s no one here to hear us,” he reminded him. Sora cried out louder, moaning Riku’s name. Even though he was aching to touch himself, Riku kept his hands on Sora, caressing his thighs, teasing the tight hole between his legs. The sounds he made were enough to drive Riku into impenetrable bliss. He came first, and when his orgasm peaked, Sora pulled him onto the bed, pinning him down.

“I’ve only ever wanted you, Riku.”

* * *

 

In the morning, after they’d caught fish to eat and opened coconuts for their milk, they played on the beach like they used to when they were small. They spent the whole day exploring and carved their names and the date of their wedding into the rocks in the secret place. They ate their midday meal there and talked about their future.

“You’re going to be ready to open another shop soon, maybe in the city,” Sora assured him.

“I’ll need your help.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me now,” Sora replied smugly.

“I don’t have it so bad,” Riku said.

“Oh?”

“I have a loving husband who supports me and has always been my best friend.”

“I guess we have something in common, then,” Sora murmured, kissing him softly. They melted against each other, Riku deftly pulling at Sora’s pants and undergarment.

“I didn’t get to have you last night,” he whispered.

Sora fell back onto the picnic blanket, ripping his shirt off and tugging at the bulge in Riku’s pants. “Do you want me that bad?” Riku kissed his legs and hooked one ankle over his shoulder. “I want you,” he moaned, fingering his hole. Sora’s fingers joined his and they worked together, slowly building a heated rhythm. “Oh, Riku…” Sora rasped out, grinding his hips into the movement.

Riku plunged his cock inside, as hard as Sora could take. It felt as though he couldn’t get deep enough, but when he came, he felt complete. The peace that settled over him the night before the wedding was back.

He kissed Sora’s lips and held him, repeating the words he’d sworn at the alter. Before he drifted off, heavy and satisfied, he thought he tasted Sora’s tears, but they were sweet, which meant his husband was happy.

* * *

 

“We should come back, for our anniversary,” Sora suggested as they packed their things. A boat was waiting to take them back to the mainland. Soon, they’d be back home. It made Riku’s heart soar to know that it wasn’t just his anymore. Half of his life belonged to Sora now.

“I’d like that,” he agreed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story will be updated every Saturday.


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